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Parenting, Writing

Where the Heck Have I Been?!

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If you have been a devoted follower of my blog since I started it last summer, then you’ve probably been wondering where the heck I’ve been for the past few months. The truth is that I took a couple of weeks off to focus on finishing my children’s book and a couple of weeks quickly turned into three months.

One of the harshest realizations I’ve had since deciding to pursue writing as a profession is that being at home with my kids doesn’t allow me as much time to write as would be optimal. I thought that I would be able to do social media marketing management part time, write part time, and parent the rest of the time. It’s turned out that once I’ve finished my part time social media management work while my kids are at their ½ day preschool – I usually have about an hour before I have to get back to parenting full time again. Significant chunks of time to work on writing projects are few and far in between.

Trying to keep up with the blog and write a book felt like too much. So, I decided I’d sneak away from Super Eclectica for a couple of weeks to finish my first kid’s book. All went according to plan until I finished the book and decided that I didn’t want that to be the first book I would attempt to get published. It’s a Christmas book and it didn’t seem as marketable as another book idea that I had on the way-back burner. So, I decided that since I’d taken time away from the blog I should just launch straight into that project. Which I did… and am still doing… but it’s not done yet… and the blog has been languishing.

Eventually, the pull to come back to consistently posting to my blog became too much… and here I am. I’m back, baby! And I have a new commitment to you, the reader. I will now be posting to Super Eclectica every Wednesday come hell or high water. Why? Because it matters. Because YOU matter.

To help get things started with a bang, tomorrow I will be featuring my first blog post from a guest writer. She’s an English professor at Citrus College in Glendora, California, and she’s written an entertaining piece about how she uses “50 Shades of Gray” to teach grammar, entitled, “50 Shades of Grammar.” I guarantee you’re gonna love it.

Thanks for tuning in and I’ll be seeing you regularly!

Writing

So, How’s the Writing Going?

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I’m fortunate to have supportive friends and family members that are enthusiastic about my transition to a freelance writing career.  When I visit with them the question that invariably comes up is “So, how’s the writing going?”

For their sakes – and for the sake of anyone in the whole wide world that might be reading this – I’m pleased to say that it is going well!

Here’s the latest:

I’m writing every day.  It’s been a lot like working out.  My writing has become stronger the more I have been doing it and I’ve become able to write more in less time.  My proof reading skills, clarity, and agility at rewriting have also improved (but I suppose you can judge some of that for yourself).

I’ve been studying hard and beefing up my knowledge of social media and SEO writing.  My goal is to become an expert in the area in order to maximize my marketability.  I approached a friend at EnnouncementCards.com and asked her if I could interview her about her experience employing people to manage her social media and SEO.  We had a phone meeting that helped me gain perspective into the kinds of things that will best help me serve clients.

…A couple of weeks later she contacted me and said that the person that handled their social media part time had taken on other commitments and had given notice.  She stated that she was impressed with my knowledge when we spoke and wanted to know if I would want to take over managing their social media.  I was delighted by the opportunity, and began working for them at the beginning of August.  It’s been a fantastic experience so far.  She has been pleased with my work and the boost in Facebook page likes, reach and engagement that I have quickly been able to attain.  I enjoy writing the short bursts of creative copy and doing some light graphic design.  I am also excited that my decision to make this transition to freelance writing has resulted in employment in short order.  That has been a big encouragement.

This morning, I completed a 2,400 word sermon that I will be giving at my church (Neighborhood UU Church of Pasadena, CA) later this month.  It is the culmination of work that I began in Dr. Rev. Jim Nelson’s sermon writing class that I took in the spring called “Preacher in You.”  It has been a wonderful spiritual and intellectual journey and I’m excited to see how it will be received.  Wish me luck!

I’m working my way through the next rewrite on my children’s book tentatively titled, “A Gift for Emily.”  This time around I am using Ann Whitford Paul’s “Writing Picture Books” as my guide.  Since this is my first crack at writing a children’s book it seemed logical to take a structured approach such as this.  My friend and mentor Sean Diviny, author of “Snow Inside the House” and “Halloween Motel” has also been a huge asset to me in this process.

I have an outline mapped out in my brain for my entry into the Real Simple life lessons essay contest.  That’s my next project.  It will be my first entry into a writing contest since my short play “Spin Cycle” won the The New American Theatre One Act Festival contest about a decade ago.

I will begin applying for more freelance jobs in September, when my twins start preschool.  Right now, my plate is as full as time allows (I’m writing this blog entry while the kids are napping).  I’ve subscribed to the Media Bistro Morning Media Newsfeed and FreelanceWriting.com’s Morning Coffee eNewsletter, and both seem like they will be excellent sources for job leads when the time comes.

Oh… and I’m writing a blog.  You might have heard of it.  It’s called Super Eclectica and I write about everything from adventures in parenting to advice for in-laws to – pause for dramatic effect – how my writing is going.  You should totally subscribe to it.

Parenting

To Share or Not to Share? That is Not the Question.

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There is a debate raging in the parenting blogosphere and on the socials.  It seems that the whole parenting world was turned on its ear when one mother posted that she doesn’t make her son share.  It went viral, and now parents all over the interwebs are coming down on one side of the other of the sharing battle.

Here’s the problem with the “to share or not to share” debate:  It’s a logical fallacy.

Stay with me.

The argument seems to go that if another child asks your child to share a toy then your child has the choice to either sacrifice the toy for the sake of being kind or keep the toy for the sake of… well… getting to keep the toy.

This either/or decision is at the core of the logical fallacy.  In this case, parents are creating for their children what is known as a false dilemma.  They are choosing to teach their child one of two possibilities, as if only two possibilities exist.  Though – like so many things in real life – sharing is not an either/or scenario.

Here’s what my wife and I teach our almost 4-year-old twins about sharing, and I’m certain that it will put an end to the sharing debate once and for all (insert winking smiley emoticon here).

We teach our children that when another child asks them to share they are being presented with an opportunity.  Sure, they can choose to either share the toy or not share the toy (their choice), but we also teach them two other options.  They might invite the other child to play with them (when playing with blocks they might say, “Help me build a castle!”) or they could suggest a similar toy that the other child might like (“I have the red car; you can play with that blue one”).

Additionally, we teach that there is more to choosing not to share… It is not a permanent decision that can’t be undone.  If they want the other child to wait until they are done, then a good way to help develop a friendship with the other child would be to offer the toy to that child when they are done playing with it.  The other kid is usually surprised and thrilled by this, and it often resolves the child’s initial feelings of being let down about not getting to play with it right away.

How are they doing at developing these sharing skills?  They’re catching on.  It works really well at home where they both know the rules and are learning to abide by them.  The oft-heard refrain is, “Are you done playing with that, yet?”  Away from home, I’ve seen my daughter have terrific luck with inviting other kids to play with her.  My son tends to choose not to share, gets upset that the other kid asked, and then guards the toy with his life, but he’s a smart little guy and he’ll get better at it.

Why do we teach our kids such an intricate set of skills to handle sharing?  Because this is the way that real life works.  The world is not black and white.  It is filled with shades of gray, issues can be resolved amicably, and hurt feelings can be smoothed over.

And isn’t that the goal?  As parents, don’t we really want to teach our children autonomy? Don’t we want to raise them so that they will be able to manage themselves in the world, make responsible decisions and then be happy with the decisions that they make?

Of course, I’m no expert.  So, chime in.  What sharing techniques work for your kids?

Writing

Writing with Both Feet

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Here’s something you might not know about me – especially if you don’t know me.  I’ve been itching to be a full time writer for about seven years.  I’ve been writing for my whole-entire adult life, about 20 years to be less vague.  Stuff I’ve written include spec television scripts, short films, one-act plays, standup comedy, sketch comedy, and even educational content for an online university.  I’ve enjoyed it all, but there wasn’t enough paid work to necessitate quitting my day job.  Of course, a large part of the reason that there wasn’t much paid work was due to the fact that I never really pursued paid work.  I mostly just wrote whatever the heck I wanted to write for pleasure or to enter into competitions and festivals.

Then, last year, my wife who had been a kick-ass stay-at-home Mom to our twins for three years received an offer to return to her marketing and PR career.  It was a dream job for her and she was stoked about doing it.  So, we made the decision to trade places.  She would return to the workforce and I would get the opportunity to do something that I never thought in a million billion trillion years I’d ever have the chance to do – be a stay-at-home Dad to our three-year-olds.  I’m pleased to report that the three of us are still alive and doing well, and my wife is rockin’ her new job.

Cut to this fall:  The twins start preschool (we were going to start them last year, but I was selfish and decided that I wanted a year with them before I had to give them up for part of the day).  I still want them all to myself, of course, but they are turning four soon, we want them to have a year of preschool before they start kindergarten, and so this is happening.  The upside is that it means I’ll have time carved into my schedule when I can write with regularity, plus whatever amount of sleep I’m willing to give up to write (which is when I write, now).

So, here’s the plan… I’m going to make a real go of it!  Presently, I’m putting the finishing touches on a children’s book and have two more in the works.  I have tentative plans to write an hour-long drama spec.  Oh yeah, and I started a blog (it’s called “Super Eclectica” and it’s really great – you should totally check it out.  I wrote this one piece about how I’m launching my writing career.  It’s poignant and powerful.  Real Rocky Balboa, root for the underdog kind of stuff).  I’ll also be applying for freelance writing gigs.

So, I’m jumping in with both feet.  I’ll write until my fingers are nubs and then tape Lego Duplos to the nubs and keep on writing until I make it.  When the time comes that we planned for me to rejoin the workforce I will have to not-to, because I will be writing full time and earning enough money for my wife and me to reach our financial goals.

Can I do it?  Stay tuned and find out!

Writing

The Blog About All of It

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Geez.  I’ve spent far too long – years – thinking about blog ideas and bouncing them off of people to see what popped.  Once, I was going to write a blog about mammals… all mammals all the time (it was going to be called either “Matt’s Mammals” or “MammalMania,” I couldn’t decide).  Then it was going to be a blog about better living through science (that one was going to be called “Factual Advantage” – get it?).  For a while, it was going to be a blog about making the leap into writing as a career (called “Writing with Both Feet”).  Most recently, it was going to be a blog that promotes public enthusiasm for “humanned” space travel & space outposts (entitled either “Let’s Go Boldly!” or “Peeps in Space” – the second name applying to both people and sugar-coated marshmallow chicks in space, of course). 

Last fall, I became a stay-at-home Dad.  Since then, several folks have suggested that I blog about that.  The idea appealed to me, but I saw a couple of drawbacks.  First, there are a veritable ton of Dad blogs already saturating the interwebs.  Second, I wasn’t sure that I had all that much new stuff to say about it other than it’s lots of fun, I feel lucky to have the chance to do it, and I am tired all. the. time.

Recently, I had a couple of folks that are fans of my ramblings tell me, “I really enjoy your writing.  Honestly, you would write about anything and I’d read it.”  Eureka!  I finally had the theme for my blog… all of it.

So, here’s my blog about all of it.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I hope to enjoy writing it.

 

(Be daring and leave a comment; it’ll make me feel like I’m not blogging into the virtual void.)