Preschoolers have inquisitive minds, joyous spirits and they’re generally one heck of a lot of fun to have around, but what you say and what they hear are never the same thing. Here are a dozen things you say and the preschooler translations.
1. You Say: “This is a new food. Try it.”
Preschooler Hears: “This is disgusting. Eat it.”
2. You Say: “Listen to me.”
Preschooler Hears: “The next thing to come out of my mouth is going to bore you to death. Hey look, a butterfly!”
3. You Say: “Mommy/Daddy has to go to work. Enjoy your first day of preschool!”
Preschooler Hears: “Farewell, my friend. I’m leaving and I don’t know when or if I will be back again. We had some good times though, didn’t we?”
4. You Say: “I need to make an important phone call, so please be quiet and play by yourself for just a few minutes.”
Preschooler Hears: “You and I just don’t talk enough anymore. How’ve you been? Say, is there anything I can do for you? Are you hungry? Perhaps I could fix you a light snack.”
5. You Say: “Quiet down.”
Preschooler Hears: “I’m really old and don’t hear so well. Please scream into my good ear.”
6. You Say: “Don’t you dare do that.”
Preschooler Hears: “This might be your last chance to do that. Hurry!”
7. You Say: “Why did you do that?”
Preschooler Hears: “Look innocent and slightly confused, and keep your mouth shut.”
8. You Say: “This won’t hurt.”
Preschooler Hears: “This is going to hurt. A lot.”
9. You Say: “This might hurt a little.”
Preschooler Hears: “You are about to experience pain like you have never known. Run!”
10. You Say: “Daddy/Mommy is in the bathroom.”
Preschooler Hears: “You need to go potty. Right now. Don’t you feel that pressure on your bladder wall? Please ask me to move. If I ask you to wait, just go anywhere.”
(Alternate Translation: See #4, above.)
11. You Say: “Bath time!”
Preschooler Hears: “I want to be soaked from head to toe.”
12. You Say: “Bedtime!”
Preschooler Hears: “Let the games begin!”
Amen, my friend!
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Thanks for reading!
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Oh my gosh Matt good blog . Keep it up
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Thanks, Amanda! I’ll keep em coming. I’ve got Wednesday’s post about ready to go. On Thursday I will be guest blogger on the “Pile of Babies” blog. Thanks for your support and please keep checking back.
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